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The Sandwich Generation: Stressed Out, Low on Money, Short on Time

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They’re called “the Sandwich Generation,” and demographers tell us that their ranks are growing. These are the Americans who are literally sandwiched between simultaneously caring for their young children and their aging parents. For millions of couples in their mid-30s to early 50s, that sandwich can often feel more like a vise.

In a recent article from the Wall Street Journal,  reporters Vanessa Fuhrmans and Veronica Dagher took a closer look at current data regarding the Sandwich Generation. Their research showed that, with Americans having children later and living longer, more and more families are experiencing a growing burden of care. This burden is having a negative impact on their careers, quality of life and financial health.

Some political candidates have taken note and are proposing policies such as expanding Medicare benefits to cover home healthcare. But in today’s divided political climate, it’s tough to see any of those plans becoming law any time soon. Let’s take a look at this issue and see what lessons there are to be learned about planning ahead for future care needs. (Please note that a subscription may be required to access the Wall Street Journal article.)

11 Million Americans Make Up the Sandwich Generation

The article begins with the story of 34-year-old Kait Giordano, a resident of Georgia who juggles a job, a newborn, and her two parents with dementia.

“Just over a month into motherhood, she tends to her infant son and her live-in parents in the morning and afternoon, some days with the help of a rotating cast of paid companions at their Tucker, Ga., home,” the article explains. “In the evenings, her husband, Tamrin, takes over while she colors hair.”

Their ability to start a family had already been delayed when Kait’s father moved in a few years ago. This year, her mother moved in, and they decided not to wait any longer. “We chose to take this on,” Kait says.

Their story is not unusual. More and more Americans are shouldering the “double load” of caring for their children and at least one adult, often a parent. This population, dubbed the sandwich generation, has grown to at least 11 million in the U.S. according to one estimate. Shifts in demographics, costs, and work are making that caregiving “sandwich” into a longer and more difficult experience.  

Despite the intense workload of caring for both a newborn and her aging parents, Kait and Tamrin Giordano express gratitude.  “I’m just thankful that I’m in the position to be able to put family first,” Kait says.

Pressures Enhanced by Longer Lifespan, Delayed Childbearing

This sandwich generation has come about from a number of societal factors, including the increasingly common decision to have children later and the reality that people are living longer, but not necessarily healthier. Some are aging with care-intensive conditions like dementia, which means that they require extensive support from their family members.

This shift has shown up in recent political discourse, too. The article states, “As the oldest millennials start to hit middle age—and baby boomers near their 80s—the number of Americans caring for older and younger family makes up a significant part of the electorate. Vice President Kamala Harris invoked the sandwich generation when she recently proposed expanding Medicare benefits to cover home healthcare.”

In his response to the Harris proposal, former President Donald Trump’s campaign said he would “give priority to home-care benefits by shifting resources to at-home senior care and provide tax credits to support unpaid family caregivers,” according to the article.

Quality of Life, Long-Term Financial Health Undermined

The burden of responsibility on the sandwich generation is increasing, and it weakens both careers and quality of life. This, in turn, has ramifications for society as a whole, causing a real drag on monthly budgets and long-term financial health.

Steph Wagner, a national director of women and wealth at Northern Trust Wealth Management, says that a 40-something contributing $1,500 a month over five years to support an aging parent stands to lose more than $1 million in retirement savings.

“It’s become incredibly expensive to manage the longevity that we’ve created,” says Bradley Schurman, an author and demographic strategist, who says that the demands of caring for older generations could push more people—especially women—to retreat from the workforce in midlife. “That’s a massive risk for the U.S. economy.”

Sandwich Generation Members Put Career Goals On Hold

The article explains, “Not too long ago, the typical sandwich caregiver was a woman in her late 40s with teenage kids and maybe a part-time job. Now, according to a 2023 AARP report, the average age of these caregivers is 44, and a growing share are men. Nearly a third are millennials and Gen Z. They are in the critical early-to-middle stages of their careers and three-quarters of them work full or part time.”

In the Wall Street Journal article, we are then introduced to Diana Fuller, 49, of North Carolina. She has been the go-to person for her 83-year-old mother’s care for more than four years, and it has been a stressful experience, even with her mother living in a nearby, $10,000-a-month memory-care center. While long-term care insurance covers 75 percent of this cost, the rest is paid out of Diana’s mother’s savings.

Even so, Diana has put career goals on the back burner, such as ramping up a small business she started with her sister. She has missed moments in her children’s lives, like concerts and special events, because of her mother’s frequent hospital visits. While her husband helps out by picking up a lot of the child care duties, Diana says, “it often feels like everything is about to implode.”

Double Whammy: Rising Cost of Childcare and Eldercare

“The financial pressures are also growing for the sandwich generation,” the article states. “According to a Care.com survey of 2,000 parents, 60 percent of U.S. families spent 20 percent or more of their annual household income on child care last year, up from 51 percent of families in 2021. Meanwhile, the median cost of a home health aide climbed 10 percent last year to $75,500,” according to data from long-term-care insurer Genworth.

Financial advisers warn that caregivers risk paying for such costs in their own old age. More than half who reported in a 2023 New York Life survey said that they had “made a sacrifice to their own financial security to provide care for their parents on top of their children.” 

Long-Distance Care Can Add to the Stress

The intentions often come from love, of course. Many in the sandwich generation feel “torn” between the needs of their kids and the needs of their parents.

Liam Davitt, a public-relations professional, and his wife, Lisa Fels Davitt, recently moved from their Washington, D.C., condo to suburban New Jersey so that their 7-year-old son could be closer to cousins and go to a good public school.

Unfortunately, that meant moving away from Liam’s 84-year-old mother in an independent living community. “The long distance has made helping her even with little things more complicated, such as troubleshooting glitches with her iPhone,” the article states. “He recently enlisted a nearby fraternity brother to help her assemble a new walker.”

The situation has made Liam even more aware of his own health. An avid runner, he avoids potentially hazardous running events and keeps up with his doctors’ appointments for fear that he won’t be able to care for his family properly, both older and younger.

“If all of a sudden I’m less mobile, then I’m more of a burden on my own family,” Liam says.

The article concludes with the observation that Liam is planning to move his mother closer by, a testament to the burden of responsibility faced by so many in his position. 

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(originally reported at www.wsj.com)

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