For most of us, our first true “rite of passage” into something like adulthood was getting our driver’s license. While times have changed somewhat, it’s probably still true that your driver’s license – more than anything else you carry in your wallet or purse – symbolizes freedom and independence. Even if we spend all our driving time in the city, the lure of the open road is a still powerful part of American mythology. 

It’s a long way from age 16 to age 76 or 86. So, when it’s finally time to hang up the car keys and stop driving yourself, it can be one of the hardest transitions in aging. What’s more, there’s usually no simple way to deal with the decision. Either we as aging adults make the choice ourselves or our loved ones have to make it for us. 

This week on the Blog, we’re bringing this important topic up for discussion, guided by this recent article from Kiplinger, written by freelance contributor Maurie Backman. As is often the case with the subject of seniors and driving, Backman bases her article from the perspective of adult kids finding it necessary to confront mom or dad with their safety concerns. However, there’s definitely a case to be made that mom or dad should be the ones to make the decision to park the car for good. Let’s see if we can cover this issue from both sides. 

Retirement Planning Should Include Life Without Driving 

Planning for when to give up their car is not usually on the to-do list for most older adults, Backman tells us. “After all, for many retirees, driving is the key to independence, allowing them to run errands, meet friends or spend some solo time in nature,” she writes.  

Even so, giving up driving is often the safest course of action at some point in the aging process. This can be a real challenge to accept and talk about, both for senior adults and their grown-up children.  

Many families faced with this issue appear to be in denial. “A 2013 Liberty Mutual survey found that 55 percent of adult children with senior parents were worried about their ability to drive safely,” Backman writes. “Yet only 23 percent brought up the issue. And 29 percent had no plans to have that conversation.” 

A Significant Percentage of People 85-Plus Still Drive 

The sad reality is that this reticence to talk about driving might be a costly mistake, since around 55 percent of men who are 85 or older still drive, according to SeniorLiving.org, and 22 percent of 85-year-old women do the same.  

It’s true that some older people may remain equipped to drive later in life, but Backman tells us that it’s still worth as much open communication as possible. She offers some helpful insights to guide us as we broach this fraught topic with our loved ones.  

Before You Quit Driving, Try These Ideas to Improve Safety 

Before quitting driving completely, Backman suggests some less-extreme steps that can help older drivers stay safe behind the wheel.  

For example, a decline in hearing is tied to poor driving performance according to a study by AAA. So, something as simple as getting hearing aids might significantly reduce the risks for someone who is otherwise healthy. The same goes for vision, with either proper eyewear or cataract surgery.  

Backman also suggests swapping out an older car for one with modern safety features. “A vehicle with better headlights, lane-keep assist, blind spot warnings and a backup camera may help older drivers,” she writes.  

Education is also a great option. Both AARP and offer defensive driving courses for older drivers, and these can even help you save money on auto insurance. Backman adds, “If you’re really worried about yourself or your loved one, consider getting a driving evaluation and targeted help from the American Occupational Therapy Association’s Find a Driving Specialist website.” 

Emotional Toll is Just the Tip of the Iceberg 

The psychological impact of losing the ability to drive can’t be overstated. Backman explains, “Researchers at Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health looked at the wellbeing of older adults after they stopped driving and found that their health worsened in multiple ways after giving it up. They noted that depression symptoms nearly doubled among seniors who stopped driving.” 

She goes on to add that giving up driving is also associated with a 51 percent reduction in the size of a senior adult’s social circle. “A 2024 Transamerica survey found that 17 percent of retirees feel isolated and lonely,” Backman writes. “Being physically cut off from friends and family due to an inability to drive could therefore really sting.” 

Many Warning Signs May Be Tough to Spot 

Because of the dangers associated with driving, Backman urges loved ones not to wait until an accident occurs to have these conversations. It’s best to start when the warning signs are more subtle.  This article from AAA includes some specific red flags to look out for. 

“Some of these signs are obvious,” Backman writes. “Is the person’s car newly scratched or dented? Have they received tickets for traffic violations or been in an accident? Have they driven somewhere familiar but become lost?” 

But less apparent issues may include reduced vision or hearing, or even stiffness in joints or muscles that lead to discomfort behind the wheel.  These can all impair driving ability. 

Once any of these symptoms are noticed, it’s a good time to start the conversation. “But that doesn’t mean insisting [older motorists] avoid getting behind the wheel altogether,” Backman writes. “The transition may be easier if a loved one alters their driving habits before giving it up completely. You may want to suggest that they stop driving at night, on the freeway or in bad weather to start with and take things from there.” 

A Few Specific Hints to Help Make the Conversation Easier 

Don’t Go It Alone: Backman reminds us that there are plenty of professionals you can bring into the conversation, to add weight to your concerns. “Bring their medical providers into the discussion and hear what they have to say,” she writes. “You should also find out from your loved one’s provider if any medications they’re taking could lead to slower reaction times.” (Check out this Blog article about the effects of common medications on senior motorists.) 

Talk Up the Savings: Sometimes focusing on the finances can help, especially for older adults on a fixed income. Giving up driving can really save money. “p at $12,297 per year,” Backman writes. “Plus, people over 74 tend to pay higher car insurance rates than most other age groups, per SeniorLiving.org. Auto insurers commonly consider older adults a higher risk and charge them accordingly.” 

Suggest Transportation Alternatives: It’s vital not to let the loss of driving spell the loss of an older adult’s social life or ability to care for themselves. You can suggest the following concrete solutions for helping them get around town without a car:  

*Public transportation – Backman notes that this is a reliable and available option for some, but not for everyone; it can also be a struggle to access for folks who have difficulty walking longer distances. That said, there are usually discounts galore for folks over 60 or 65 to use public transportation, so if it’s available nearby it could be cost efficient, too.  

*Rideshares – While often more accessible, they do rely on your loved one’s willingness to get into a car with a stranger. “A licensed taxi or car service could be a more comfortable option,” Backman notes. Also of note is that some (not all, do check!) Medicare Advantage plans pay for transportation to and from medical appointments.  

*Local programs – “Some areas also have ride programs that offer older people the comfort of a private or shared vehicle at a discounted rate compared to hiring a taxi or rideshare,” Backman writes. “It pays to look into this option and find out how to register.” 

*Other options – You can also find our if your local community center or place of worship has a volunteer program to help older adults get around town. “Your loved one may have access to free resources that make giving up driving easier,” Backman writes.  

What If Your Aging Loved One Has Dementia? 

What if your parent or loved one has dementia? In that case, as Backman writes, “all bets are off.”  

It doesn’t matter how many conversations you have with them about their driving, even with professionals weighing in. They probably won’t remember the conversation. And sadly, most state DMVs won’t be much help, either: as this list of driving laws for older drivers by state shows, most only require a vision exam.  

“Someone with dementia, especially if they are with an aide or have mild cognitive impairment, could still renew their license,” Backman observes. 

Backman writes, to conclude her article, “Some states require doctors or others to report dementia diagnoses to motor vehicle departments. In that case, the DMV may ask the person to be evaluated in person. If a doctor has evaluated your loved one and found they have dementia and should not drive, then you must develop a strategy to take the car away. You need to protect your parent and others on the road. Get some help from a geriatric social worker or an experienced caretaker.” 

This related article from the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America website provides some helpful insight for families facing this difficult situation.  We also found excellent information in this report from the National Institute on Aging. 

Rajiv Nagaich – Your Retirement Planning Coach and Guide 

The long-awaited book by Rajiv Nagaich, called Your Retirement: Dream or Disaster, has been released and is now available to the public. Retirement: Dream or Disaster joins Rajiv’s ground-breaking DVD series and workbook, Master Your Future, as a powerful planning tool in your retirement toolbox. As a friend of AgingOptions, we know you’ll want to get your copy and spread the word.  

You’ve heard Rajiv say it repeatedly: 70 percent of retirement plans will fail. If you know someone whose retirement turned into a nightmare when they were forced into a nursing home, went broke paying for care, or became a burden to their families – and you want to make sure it doesn’t happen to you – then this book is must-read. 

Through stories, examples, and personal insights, Rajiv takes us along on his journey of expanding awareness about a problem that few are willing to talk about, yet it’s one that results in millions of Americans sleepwalking their way into their worst nightmares about aging. Rajiv lays bare the shortcomings of traditional retirement planning advice, exposes the biases many professionals have about what is best for older adults, and much more. 

Rajiv then offers a solution: LifePlanning, his groundbreaking approach to retirement planning. Rajiv explains the essential planning steps and, most importantly, how to develop the framework for these elements to work in concert toward your most deeply held retirement goals.  

Your retirement can be the exciting and fulfilling life you’ve always wanted it to be. Start by reading and sharing Rajiv’s important message. And remember, Age On, everyone! 

(originally reported at www.kiplinger.com)