Last week here on the Blog, we shared an article decrying the persistence of ageism. While the focus was on age discrimination in the workplace, the general tone of the piece was clear. There’s a stereotype many of us share about aging, and it’s usually not a very positive one. 

So, with that in mind, it’s always encouraging to come across an article that provides an alternate narrative. Yes, this counter-argument states, aging brings with it some physical infirmities and limitations. But senior adulthood can also be a rich time of growth, contentment, and joy that helps blow those negative stereotypes out of the water. 

That was our reaction to this article we just discovered from CNBC.  In it, author and social worker Katharine Esty, PhD, nationally-recognized expert on aging, synthesized the results of her interviews with 150 seniors to find out how they evaluated their lives. Here’s the kicker: Esty is a feisty, active 90-year-old herself. We’re eager to share her observations – her five “unexpected truths about aging” – with you. 

We’ve couched these as five things you’ll discover about older adults – if you’ll just get past your stereotypes and take the time to look! 

Negative Stereotypes About Aging are Alive and Well 

“Almost all of us dread growing old,” Esty begins. This, she says, is because disproven stereotypes about older adults still persist, and so many younger people don’t realize how different the experience of aging is today compared to past generations.  

“But through my research and numerous studies, I have found that most older adults in their 80s will be happier than people in their 70s, and those in their 70s are generally happier than those in their 60s,” she writes. “It may seem hard to believe, but it’s true!” 

Esty brings us the following unexpected truths about getting older, based on her interviews with 150 people in their 70s, 80s, and 90s, along with other casual conversations with her peers. Here are her “five discoveries” about aging. 

You Realize How Modern Medicine Has Transformed Old Age 

The improvements in medical science and pain management over the years cannot be overstated, Esty reminds us. “As a result, we elders can continue to be more active,” she writes. “On average, we live longer and enjoy a significantly better quality of life compared to our parents and grandparents. For example, my parents died at 65 and 72.” 

Along with this, many health conditions that used to be fatal or debilitating can be successfully treated or managed. “We elders get new knees, hips and shoulders,” Esty writes. “We have hearing aids that actually work and procedures to remove cataracts.” 

She does note that it takes “many doctors” to keep older people healthy, citing her own second bout of COVID and two falls in the last four months. “I’ve had appointments with my primary care physician, orthopedist, dermatologist, ophthalmologist and dentist,” she writes. “But this week, I went to three exercise classes and walked more than a mile and a half on two other days.”  

You See Older Adults Learning and Developing New Skills    

According to Esty, the idea that “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” is simply untrue, and unnecessarily limiting.  

“I assumed that at about age 40 or 45, people started to decline and that it was all downhill from then on,” she writes. “However, today we have a better understanding of the aging brain and neuroplasticity, which is the brain’s ability to grow and reorganize its neural networks. In other words, our brains can continue to develop and heal over time.” 

Older people can—and should!—absolutely keep learning. It just might take a little longer than younger people attempting the same skill. “We can stay sharp by stimulating our brains. Engaging in new activities is especially beneficial for this purpose. For me, these activities include conversational French and taking a Zumba class,” Esty adds.   

You Become More Grateful and Content As You Age 

Esty writes, “A popular toast at my retirement community is, ‘Here’s to everything that still is working!’” 

And while it’s good-humored, she sees this as a sign that elders tend to consciously choose to maintain a positive attitude. “This is called the paradox of aging,” she adds.  

The paradox of aging is that despite the losses of loved ones and decline in capabilities, our mental health and sense of well-being usually improve. “We feel grateful and content with what we have,” Esty writes. “We recognize that we are lucky to be alive — less than 2 percent of Americans make it to age 90. As a result, we don’t want to waste a single second complaining.”   Gratitude can be terrific medicine. 

You Learn to Live in the Present Moment 

Long-term planning becomes rarer as we get older. Esty explains, “As we age, particularly into our late 70s and 80s, we rarely make plans that extend further than 18 months into the future. The uncertainties of life make us avoid long-term planning, even though we may live for many more years.” 

She also says that most of the older people she talked to don’t spend much time dwelling on the past or focusing on regrets. She writes, “We have made peace with all that has happened to us and the choices we have made. We rarely find ourselves wishing we had married someone else or changed careers.” 

Because of this, Esty notices that conversations among older people tend to revolve more around sports or what’s on TV than on past jobs or adventures. “We enjoy the simple pleasures of life like coffee with a friend, taking a walk around the block, and admiring a starry sky,” she adds. “We only have this moment.” 

You Discover that True Joy Comes from Your Relationships 

Esty concludes her article with the observation that the meaning and focus of life evolve as you get older.  

“When we were younger, most of us wanted to have a nice house and enough money,” she writes. “We worked hard, strived to achieve our goals and took care of our families. For years, we were too busy and rushed to fully enjoy our lives.” 

But today, Esty notices that her peers have shed demanding jobs and responsibilities, taking hold of the “gift of time” with families and friends.  

“Families can include those we’ve had all along as well as those we’ve created,” she writes. “Some of us, like me, find a new love partner. We adore the young children and babies in our lives. Surprisingly, friends also become even more important as we age.” 

She ends with this beautiful, personal observation: “Friends, there is much to look forward to as you age, and the research suggests you will be happier, too.” 

Rajiv Nagaich – Your Retirement Planning Coach and Guide 

The long-awaited book by Rajiv Nagaich, called Your Retirement: Dream or Disaster, has been released and is now available to the public. Retirement: Dream or Disaster joins Rajiv’s ground-breaking DVD series and workbook, Master Your Future, as a powerful planning tool in your retirement toolbox. As a friend of AgingOptions, we know you’ll want to get your copy and spread the word.  

You’ve heard Rajiv say it repeatedly: 70 percent of retirement plans will fail. If you know someone whose retirement turned into a nightmare when they were forced into a nursing home, went broke paying for care, or became a burden to their families – and you want to make sure it doesn’t happen to you – then this book is must-read. 

Through stories, examples, and personal insights, Rajiv takes us along on his journey of expanding awareness about a problem that few are willing to talk about, yet it’s one that results in millions of Americans sleepwalking their way into their worst nightmares about aging. Rajiv lays bare the shortcomings of traditional retirement planning advice, exposes the biases many professionals have about what is best for older adults, and much more. 

Rajiv then offers a solution: LifePlanning, his groundbreaking approach to retirement planning. Rajiv explains the essential planning steps and, most importantly, how to develop the framework for these elements to work in concert toward your most deeply held retirement goals.  

Your retirement can be the exciting and fulfilling life you’ve always wanted it to be. Start by reading and sharing Rajiv’s important message. And remember, Age On, everyone! 

(originally reported at www.cnbc.com)