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Caretaking Causing Family Problems

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My mother recently passed away. My father is 94 years old. The trust contains a house, with my eldest sibling as the executor of the estate. My father does not have power of attorney set yet.  I have moved in with my father to take care of him, although I am still paying for my apartment until the end of the year.  I would like to live in the house for less than one year after he passes away to allow time to get the house ready to sell and find my own place. Am I being unreasonable?

My father is worried about making anyone upset and is unwilling to sign anything stating I can stay here although he has told me he does not have a problem with it, though others might.  What should I do?

It is not unusual for caring family members and children to step up to the plate to make someones life better.  The alternative to this is that it is likely that if she does not step up to the plate the father will have to go to an institutional care setting. If in a family of several children, one child steps up, it is my experience that the other children will be thankful that they do not have to give up their lives.  But at the end of the day, when the father passes, everyone seems to forget. Everyone gets fixated on the issue of inheritance.

Your siblings need to come together with your dad and discuss what needs to happen for his needs. He can have it stated in his will that my daughter has the right to live here for one year, and no one will have the right to do anything.  If they cannot solve the issues, it may go to court, in which case it would be up to the attorneys, who may decimate the estate and fuel the fires to the interests of the attorneys and not the family.

I feel like it is a personal aspect in terms of being reasonable. If she chooses not to step up to the plate, than someone else will need to be paid to do so.  In this case, she would be paid for caring for her father through private resources and government programs.  This way everyone comes out better.

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