Aging Options

What can you do when Mom's having housing issues?

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Caregivers often find themselves in tricky situations.  Here’s a situation that can come up that can require trained help to overcome.

Your mom has dementia and resides in a nursing home.  She never lasts very long in any particular nursing home because she enters other client’s rooms, undresses and slips into bed with them (don’t scoff, it happens).  You can see that this would bother other patients but your mom either doesn’t remember doing any of those things or else promises not to do them again only to do them again a couple days or weeks later.  Within weeks, each nursing home she has been in has called to tell you that she can no longer reside with them.  Do you have any options?

The answer is yes and those options don’t include pulling out your hair or doing anything drastic.

Nursing homes aren’t really allowed to kick Mom to the curb without looking for solutions.  Here are four things you can do while they look for a safe option:

  • Contact the Long Term Care Ombudsmen. Every state is required to have someone who acts as an advocate for people residing in nursing homes, adult family homes and assisted living facilities. Frequently these advocates are residents of the same place as the program relies heavily on volunteers. This might seem to take some of the teeth out of the program but my own personal experience is that they work tirelessly to find resolutions that work for both parties.
  • The National Association of Elder Law Attorneys (NAELA) also recommends that people contact the National Consumer Voice for resources. This leading organization has represented consumers and their advocates with issues related to long-term care since the ‘70s.
  • Hire a geriatric care manager. You can cut your own stress level down by hiring these trained professionals to assess the situation, determine what steps your family will need to take and whether or not your mom is in the best place for her.
  • Hire an Elder Law Attorney to protect your mom’s rights. Click here for a list of your rights but recognize that sometimes the thing to do is to hire someone who is already very familiar with your mom’s rights and what can be done to protect them.

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